Looking again at my previous manifesto, I realized it has a problem: too many words. It might be useful as a reference for leaders of our movement when they want to make speeches, but for most of our ground troops (and you are the ones who count; after all, we are a grassroots movement, no matter how many billionaires and big corporations secretly help fund us), it is unnecessary. To follow it all would require reading and something approaching thought. Reading and thinking is for liberal losers. Therefore, we present our concise manifesto, containing all the ideas most of us will ever need (and just about all the ideas that we can keep in our heads anyway).
Government=bad
Corporations/capitalism=good
Deficits=bad
Taxes=bad
Health care reform=socialism=evil
Health insurance companies=selfless
Social programs=bad
Defense spending=good
Global warming=hoax
Fossil fuel consumption=good
Alternative energy=pointless
Immigrants=bad
Gay marriage=evil
Constitution=flawless
Founding Fathers=godlike
Barack Obama=communist/fascist/Islamic/godless/un-American
Saturday, October 2, 2010
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